I am a nerd & I am proud of it!
When I tell people I am a nerd they look at my sympathetically & say "but that's not necessarily a bad thing". I know it's not a bad thing. I didn't say it like it is a bad thing but when people hear the terms "nerd" or "geek" they associate negative meanings to them. I used to try & hide the fact that I was a nerd. I loved reading odd books & when I was 13 I fell in love with comic books because I was stuck in my grandmothers house in a small town where I was viewed as an outsider so therefore I must be picked on constantly. Staying sick most of my life on top of being an outcast turned me into a bit of a loner so when I found a lost & forgotten stack of Spiderman & X-Men comics I found that they helped me escape my life. I guess my stay with my grandparents that year helped cultivate the person I am today. I didn't tell anyone of my enjoyment of comics for many many years. I knew I was different but I tried my best to blend in, though it didn't work very well. My first love at 16 didn't even realize how much of a closet nerd I was because I knew that people were supposed to outgrow their childish toys & I was struggling to let go of them. I even went as far as trying to make fun of the other nerds for liking stupid things, that I secretly liked.
I know that the time for growing up should have happened a long time ago but I came to a serious conclusion. I am never going to grow up! I will continue collecting comic books & action figures. I love that my husband has an entire room of nothing but Star Wars items. I still love Disney & Pixar movies. I look over & see my Harley Quinn & Bat Girl dolls on top of my bookshelves & want to put up more shelves so I have a place to put my Doctor Who figures. When I hate my job I remind myself that I am saving up for some new toy or costume. Yes I dress up in costumes as well. When I was a teenager & into my early twenties I longed for the guts to go out in some crazy costume. One day I realized that no matter what I do, someone is going to think ill of me in some way, so I quit caring & started doing what made me happy. Costuming is one of those little things that makes me smile. I have been Bat Girl, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy (noticing a trend there?), Strawberry Shortcake, & Bellatrix Lestrange. I don't have a Doctor Who related costume....yet.
Bit by little bit I came out of the nerd closet & began to embrace what it really meant to be a nerd, a geek, a dork. Now that I am in my thirties I look back & wish I had done it sooner.
