I was never the one to get really star struck. I always knew that famous people were just as flawed as us normal people, they're no more special than us, they just get paid to entertain us. I have come to a point though where one actor really does have me a bit star struck. He starred in my favorite tv show & the more I watched him, the more I liked him. I knew he'd done other work so I decided to check it out & every role he played just knocked me over. He can make you believe any role he is in now matter how small it is, whether he's playing a schmuck, a looney, a demented bad guy, the ultimate romancer, or The Lord of Time. Yes boys & girls, I am talking about David Tennant. I have listened & watched some of his interviews & he keeps striking me as the dorky kid that got lucky. He says he worked hard to get to where he is today but he still looks like that nerdy guy that knew what he wanted so he obsessively worked until he was in a position to try for it, then one day luck smiled upon him & was given his dream job.
I love a man that's white & nerdy. I married a math teacher who collects so much Star Wars stuff that we had to dedicate one room of our house to it all. The Star Wars room is the pride of the entire house & I am hoping I can get more going so I can have my Doctor Who room. In David Tennant's first season as The Doctor, I struggled with him because I thought he was a bit too sexy. He is the really skinny, kind of awkward, brainy guy that makes my heart go *thump*. My inner child felt that The Doctor wasn't supposed to appeal to that side of the grown up in me. In his second season I began to make myself focus on the scripts, the story lines, the acting & somewhere along the way David Tennant wiggled his way into my heart. From then on he became, & forever will be, My Doctor. I now watch season one differently than I did before & I think maybe it's because the first time I was forced to watch him from the hospital or drugged up at home. Or maybe it's because when an actor takes the role as The Doctor it takes us a little bit of time to get comfortable with him in that role. What ever the reason may be, his acting blew me away & I am constantly surprised at how good he is. I am apprehensive to see how Matt Smith takes over but I understand that David Tennant leaving will help the story move forward as it always must. I will probably cry when it happens because when we get so attached to certain actors in that role we hate to see them leave. I was upset as a kid when Tom Baker left but understood that the story would continue. I need the story to continue to be good & David Tennant confessed on The Graham Norton Show that he was "enough of a pathetic fanboy to need it to continue to be good" after he is gone. If he isn't a dork then he's a greater actor than I thought, either way it's a win in my book. He is starring in a pilot 'Rex Is Not Your Lawyer' for NBC that I am really hoping get picked up because I want to see what else the man can do. I know many people are disappointed that he is using an American accent but I think it gives us a chance to see more of his talents as an actor. From now on he's going to be called The Doctor by many of us no matter what other roles he might play so I think in order for him to not be The Doctor, taking his accent & making him American helps. I know his Scottish & British accents are very sexy & I'd listen to him read the phone book, some on twitter have been trying to find a way to get him to read a trashy novel. It would have to be Scottish accent because I wouldn't be able to listen to The Doctor read anything smutty with out feeling a bit weird. Some might laugh but there is still a bit of conflict in me because he is so sexy & as a child I loved that Tom Baker was so funny looking, then gets replaced by Peter Davison who was considered by many women of the time as very attractive, but I was still quite young & loved that he was wearing celery. Every Doctor had something quirky about his appearance that was laughable & I never found anything about the Tenth Doctor to giggle about. The long "hero" coat is nice, I love the suit, & his hair is f*cking amazing, & my hubby wears red converse so I never gave any thought to his shoes. So if we're looking for quirks it's in the personality & those are the kinds of quirks that makes a person more endearing to me.
As an actor he makes me smile & to think, if he had never taken the role as The Doctor, I might not have ever known who he was.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Sickness & Health
This one has nothing really to do with being a nerd. Well not directly anyways. I think if I had not had so many health problems that I would not have found the comic books in my grandmother's house. Nor would I have spent so many hours watching sci/fi tv or reading so many odd books.
I have been seeing so many people complain about having health problems & going to the doctor only to be told that the doctor doesn't know what is wrong. This is something I know more about that I care to. As mentioned before, I used to suffer from a genetic blood disease called porphyria, more specifically the type is known as E.P.P. mainly 'cause no one, including doctors can pronounce it correctly. I was a medical mystery, doctors couldn't explain what was causing so many health problems. None of them ever connected the dots that all of my health issues were caused by one thing. My muscle pain, photo-sensitivity, excruciating stomach pain, constant nausea, I had come to find were all caused by one thing. It is an enzyme deficiency & is difficult to explain, I was born with it & only half way understand how it works, plus there are 8 different types of porphyria & each type depends on the enzyme & each one affects the body a bit differently. For mine the body didn't make the correct amount of a certain enzyme that helps the blood cells form. When the blood cells are made, some of them are made incomplete, as to almost look hollow. I was told that under a microscope it looked a lot like sickle cell anemia because the way the cells were hollow & couldn't hold onto iron, which made the cells die very quickly so they couldn't function in the manner that they were supposed to.
It took me too long to get a proper diagnosis from doctors then once I finally did get a confirmation that I had E.P.P. I had local doctors telling me that because they had never heard of it that I didn't really have it. They almost killed me because of their own stupidity. I was pointed in the direction of a good doctor who took me on as her patient & even though she didn't know much about the disease, she took it upon herself to learn everything about it. She is a hematologist & the disease is so rare that the only time she had heard of it was when she was in school. She helped fight for my life when I was too weak to fight for my own. She was a God send & I was so thankful that I was able to share my healing with her & her entire office. I am a rare one, not only was I born with a disease that is almost completely unheard of & tried to kill me, but I was healed of the disease. The doctors have done tests & have found that everything is normal, no trace of this genetic disease that afflicted me for 30 years. I have been healthy for over 2 years now & I have spent this time trying to live the life I didn't have the ability to live before.
I am still the nerdy girl who plays a certain on-line video game (City of Heroes). Still collect comic books when I can afford them. I still think I might go into a coma if I lost my computer & the internet. The obsession with Doctor Who has only grown in my time of being healthy, I think it's because I have more energy to obsess over it. My personality & interests didn't really change when I was healed. It just gave me a whole different perspective on life. I still don't know why God chose to heal me because I am a crude, foul mouthed, pessimist that was shown first hand how horrible people can be.
I want all of you out there that suffer chronic illness to know, there is hope. I also want you to know that you need to make some noise, scream if you have to when a doctor gives you some lame dumbass diagnosis. Ask tons of questions, do some research for yourself, challenge the doctors until you find something that makes you better. I was afraid to make a fuss, thinking the doctors knew what they were doing. When it comes to very basic stuff, they do, but when it gets complicated they need to be challenged. Yes many of them hate it, but if they would take the time to do their job correctly we wouldn't have to challenge their opinions.
I have been seeing so many people complain about having health problems & going to the doctor only to be told that the doctor doesn't know what is wrong. This is something I know more about that I care to. As mentioned before, I used to suffer from a genetic blood disease called porphyria, more specifically the type is known as E.P.P. mainly 'cause no one, including doctors can pronounce it correctly. I was a medical mystery, doctors couldn't explain what was causing so many health problems. None of them ever connected the dots that all of my health issues were caused by one thing. My muscle pain, photo-sensitivity, excruciating stomach pain, constant nausea, I had come to find were all caused by one thing. It is an enzyme deficiency & is difficult to explain, I was born with it & only half way understand how it works, plus there are 8 different types of porphyria & each type depends on the enzyme & each one affects the body a bit differently. For mine the body didn't make the correct amount of a certain enzyme that helps the blood cells form. When the blood cells are made, some of them are made incomplete, as to almost look hollow. I was told that under a microscope it looked a lot like sickle cell anemia because the way the cells were hollow & couldn't hold onto iron, which made the cells die very quickly so they couldn't function in the manner that they were supposed to.
It took me too long to get a proper diagnosis from doctors then once I finally did get a confirmation that I had E.P.P. I had local doctors telling me that because they had never heard of it that I didn't really have it. They almost killed me because of their own stupidity. I was pointed in the direction of a good doctor who took me on as her patient & even though she didn't know much about the disease, she took it upon herself to learn everything about it. She is a hematologist & the disease is so rare that the only time she had heard of it was when she was in school. She helped fight for my life when I was too weak to fight for my own. She was a God send & I was so thankful that I was able to share my healing with her & her entire office. I am a rare one, not only was I born with a disease that is almost completely unheard of & tried to kill me, but I was healed of the disease. The doctors have done tests & have found that everything is normal, no trace of this genetic disease that afflicted me for 30 years. I have been healthy for over 2 years now & I have spent this time trying to live the life I didn't have the ability to live before.
I am still the nerdy girl who plays a certain on-line video game (City of Heroes). Still collect comic books when I can afford them. I still think I might go into a coma if I lost my computer & the internet. The obsession with Doctor Who has only grown in my time of being healthy, I think it's because I have more energy to obsess over it. My personality & interests didn't really change when I was healed. It just gave me a whole different perspective on life. I still don't know why God chose to heal me because I am a crude, foul mouthed, pessimist that was shown first hand how horrible people can be.
I want all of you out there that suffer chronic illness to know, there is hope. I also want you to know that you need to make some noise, scream if you have to when a doctor gives you some lame dumbass diagnosis. Ask tons of questions, do some research for yourself, challenge the doctors until you find something that makes you better. I was afraid to make a fuss, thinking the doctors knew what they were doing. When it comes to very basic stuff, they do, but when it gets complicated they need to be challenged. Yes many of them hate it, but if they would take the time to do their job correctly we wouldn't have to challenge their opinions.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Girls like Science Fiction too
I have found a world totally new to myself. Other girls who are as obsessed with The Doctor as I am. I think I can get used to this, I like it. I have had some female friends in the past who were nerdy or had certain nerdy aspects but they were into different aspects of nerdiness than I have enjoyed. In a way it was a good thing because I would join them in their interests just out of the sake of having another girl around that didn't ramble on about shoes, hair or celebrity gossip for hours on end. The problem always was, that I would join in their interests, but no one wanted to join in mine, so I stood alone with my little memories of the TARDIS, my comic books or just the odd books I enjoyed that weren't popular.
Earlier this year I attended my first fandom convention & instantly I was hooked. I am very grateful that I went because I found people just as obsessed as I am, if not more so with Doctor Who. We decided to form a group or club to share our love of The Doctor & every month I find I like these people more & more. In the group was a girl but she is more familiar with the new series but seems to love the old just as much. After a short time I was introduced to another girl through Facebook, a mutual friend tells me that he knows a girl who would fit in with our group. We instantly hit it off & she gets all of my Doctor Who references. So now I have 2 whole girl friends that I can share my Doctor love with. Then I get sucked into the world of Twitter. Oh wow has it been uhm, should I say, educational? Yeah I think that's a safe word to use. There are Who fanatics galore & David Tennant fangirls that make me look like an amateur when it comes to unhealthy obsessions. Yes I absolutely adore David Tennant, but he is a branch of my Doctor obsession.
For many people a part of my present, my past isn't well known. I used to suffer greatly from a genetic blood disease called porphyria. Thanks to a God given miracle I no longer suffer but for most of 2006 & 2007 I was in the hospital or stuck in a bed at home with IVs hooked up to me. The disease caused great pain & severe sickness all over, & I needed an escape & the two places I escaped through were the Stargate & the TARDIS. Now that I am healthy I still enjoy being able to take an hour from a busy day to take a trip to an alien planet, go back in time, or visit an alternate reality. Even greater than enjoying the shows I love best is being able to have another girl on this planet enjoy them with me. I think I am slowly drawing in one of the girls I LARP with into the world of Doctor Who/Torchwood. Bit by bit I am showing a "normal" friend of mine the appeal of all the science fiction shows I like. I am a girl who is used to having these things in common with guys, so having girls who like them is a refreshing feeling.
"Magic & time travel are not only possible, but are every day occurrences." This has been something I have been telling people on a regular basis, I believe that it is true. I don't know who said this first, I don't presume to think that I was the first to come up with it but I would like for it to become a popular phrase.
Earlier this year I attended my first fandom convention & instantly I was hooked. I am very grateful that I went because I found people just as obsessed as I am, if not more so with Doctor Who. We decided to form a group or club to share our love of The Doctor & every month I find I like these people more & more. In the group was a girl but she is more familiar with the new series but seems to love the old just as much. After a short time I was introduced to another girl through Facebook, a mutual friend tells me that he knows a girl who would fit in with our group. We instantly hit it off & she gets all of my Doctor Who references. So now I have 2 whole girl friends that I can share my Doctor love with. Then I get sucked into the world of Twitter. Oh wow has it been uhm, should I say, educational? Yeah I think that's a safe word to use. There are Who fanatics galore & David Tennant fangirls that make me look like an amateur when it comes to unhealthy obsessions. Yes I absolutely adore David Tennant, but he is a branch of my Doctor obsession.
For many people a part of my present, my past isn't well known. I used to suffer greatly from a genetic blood disease called porphyria. Thanks to a God given miracle I no longer suffer but for most of 2006 & 2007 I was in the hospital or stuck in a bed at home with IVs hooked up to me. The disease caused great pain & severe sickness all over, & I needed an escape & the two places I escaped through were the Stargate & the TARDIS. Now that I am healthy I still enjoy being able to take an hour from a busy day to take a trip to an alien planet, go back in time, or visit an alternate reality. Even greater than enjoying the shows I love best is being able to have another girl on this planet enjoy them with me. I think I am slowly drawing in one of the girls I LARP with into the world of Doctor Who/Torchwood. Bit by bit I am showing a "normal" friend of mine the appeal of all the science fiction shows I like. I am a girl who is used to having these things in common with guys, so having girls who like them is a refreshing feeling.
"Magic & time travel are not only possible, but are every day occurrences." This has been something I have been telling people on a regular basis, I believe that it is true. I don't know who said this first, I don't presume to think that I was the first to come up with it but I would like for it to become a popular phrase.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Where my love started
My unhealthy obsession is Doctor Who. Everyone who knows me at all, knows that the show, the stories, the concept, the actors, are all things that I thoroughly enjoy. I have been watching the show from some of my earliest memories. I remember watching the show with my mom before my earliest moments of singing on stage with my dad, which I started doing when I was about 4 or 5. I tell people I get my nerdiness from my Mom, whom I am very thankful for. She would watch tv shows (mainly Doctor Who & Star Trek) & read books with stories that were fun & interesting. I grew up enjoying many of the same shows & books. I admired characters I watched on TV & though I was smart enough to recognize that it wasn't real, I still wanted to be like those women that were so elegant & smart. I think I grew up very smart in knowing what I liked in people because of the shows & books that I read. I found qualities in personalities that I thought were important & throughout life many of those things stuck with me. I know that my first real crush was on a character in a book. I was about 9 years old & all my friends loved those teeny-bopper TV stars because they were cute. I was even given posters, but I felt weird because in comparison to the characters in my books, the tv stars acted stupid. I wanted something more than just looks, or to know that his favorite food was pizza. I wanted personality with values that acted with such valiance that would make adults & children respect & love him.
A starting point
This is something I have thought about doing for a while now but I have a bad habit of talking myself out of doing things. Then I got to experience another situation (no I won't talk about it because it would name someone) that made me decide that this might be a bit therapeutic. As time goes by I will be sharing about me, why I love the things I love, do the things that I do, & things that I notice that are different about being a girl in the "fanboy" world. I'll do a good deal of complaining but keep in mind that much of this has been built up for many years & I have no desire to keep it in anymore. I am sure I shall offend someone along the way & I could apologize now but keep in mind that I mean no disrespect to anyone specifically but if you're so touchy as to take something said in general, to heart & get hurt by it...then there is nothing I can do about it.
I know of a few girls like me & actually know, even fewer. I am an odd duck, have been called a one percenter. I don't fit the mold or stereo types that the few girls with my hobbies & interests tend to be in. I am a girly girl, but I love to work on cars, I still get captivated by comic books like I did when I was 13. Almost everything I watch on TV is of the science fiction genre & the books I read are fantasy or science fiction. The only real interest in life that I have, that isn't considered weird for a grown woman to love is music. Not just listening to it either, I love to play it, to sing it, to write it.
I am a kind of "fangirl" I love to go to the comic book stores & I recently found that I enjoy comic book, sci/fi, fantasy conventions. Fandom calender has proven that fangirls can be sexy but I am just an average looking woman with a slender build. I was a lonely goofy looking kid & stayed that way into my teenage years. I finally got a little in the way of curves & became someone who was no longer an awkward shy little girl who would sit with her books in a quiet corner. I had been forced to develop a personality to make people like me because I knew that my looks weren't going to win me any prizes & since then I have been told that because of my personality, my appearance is more attractive. I am naturally slender but I have worked to stay at least semi in shape & I have moments when I have to listen to those that are only slightly over weight bitch at me for being skinny. The prejudice against the slender is real as there is against the fat. Anyways, because I am slender & do what I can to be attractive. With the hobbies & interests I have, many of the male gender tend to gravitate towards me. I agreed to date my husband because I knew we'd have something in common to talk about because I found out he liked some of the same comic book characters as I did. We grew to find that we had more in common & I am very thankful that I agreed to give him my number. It seems to be though, that because I am not fat & don't look as though I have fallen out of the top of a fugly tree, most other women tend to show their insecurities with their men when it comes to me. They get it into their heads that I am going to steal their man away from them. What is worse is when men get stupid & think that I am interested in them romantically because I share their interests. They don't take into account that I am quick to mention that I am married & that I love my husband very deeply. I do like a cute nerd so I married myself a math teacher, it doesn't get much nerdier than that.
I know of a few girls like me & actually know, even fewer. I am an odd duck, have been called a one percenter. I don't fit the mold or stereo types that the few girls with my hobbies & interests tend to be in. I am a girly girl, but I love to work on cars, I still get captivated by comic books like I did when I was 13. Almost everything I watch on TV is of the science fiction genre & the books I read are fantasy or science fiction. The only real interest in life that I have, that isn't considered weird for a grown woman to love is music. Not just listening to it either, I love to play it, to sing it, to write it.
I am a kind of "fangirl" I love to go to the comic book stores & I recently found that I enjoy comic book, sci/fi, fantasy conventions. Fandom calender has proven that fangirls can be sexy but I am just an average looking woman with a slender build. I was a lonely goofy looking kid & stayed that way into my teenage years. I finally got a little in the way of curves & became someone who was no longer an awkward shy little girl who would sit with her books in a quiet corner. I had been forced to develop a personality to make people like me because I knew that my looks weren't going to win me any prizes & since then I have been told that because of my personality, my appearance is more attractive. I am naturally slender but I have worked to stay at least semi in shape & I have moments when I have to listen to those that are only slightly over weight bitch at me for being skinny. The prejudice against the slender is real as there is against the fat. Anyways, because I am slender & do what I can to be attractive. With the hobbies & interests I have, many of the male gender tend to gravitate towards me. I agreed to date my husband because I knew we'd have something in common to talk about because I found out he liked some of the same comic book characters as I did. We grew to find that we had more in common & I am very thankful that I agreed to give him my number. It seems to be though, that because I am not fat & don't look as though I have fallen out of the top of a fugly tree, most other women tend to show their insecurities with their men when it comes to me. They get it into their heads that I am going to steal their man away from them. What is worse is when men get stupid & think that I am interested in them romantically because I share their interests. They don't take into account that I am quick to mention that I am married & that I love my husband very deeply. I do like a cute nerd so I married myself a math teacher, it doesn't get much nerdier than that.
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